Confused, alone, or drained in your relationships? Are you putting the needs of others before your own? Are you changing yourself (like a chameleon) in order to feel accepted and appreciated? Are you often or always overruled? Do you feel like you have nothing left to give?
How you feel about yourself affects all your relationships. If you have a negative view of yourself (“How could you let that happen? How could you be so stupid?”), each day is a battlefield. Some of the ways people cope with that inner conflict are familiar: abuse of alcohol or drugs, overeating, sex.
But not everyone has those vices. Some people seek to fill that void inside through their relationships with other people. They reach out to other people to seek completeness. In those situations, the other person becomes your main focus. You modify your behaviors and subjugate your needs to keep the relationship going at any cost. This is relationship dependence, or codependency.
Codependent people are magnets for arrogant and narcissistic personalities, who tend to dictate other people’s behavior. The ensuing relationships can stumble along for a long time, requiring huge amounts of effort and energy to keep up until they finally fall apart. When they do, the relationship-dependent person is left feeling vulnerable, betrayed, and abandoned (biggest fear) - which can, in turn, lead to depression or the familiar vices.
The only way to escape that cycle is to repair your relationship with yourself.
Fortunately, there are many therapy approaches available to people seeking to recover their sense of true self.
My approach is a way INTO thinking instead of a way OUT of thinking. And there is a lot to think about around how and why we can relate to others in more healthy ways.
I try not to be prescriptive. Self-help books and 12 step recovery plans already do that. My goal is to support your individual journey, and all the complexities that it encompasses.
My mission is to help you heal from your suffering by gaining clarity and insight into your role in your relationships. Learning about your emotional patterns and vulnerable attachments is the first step to living a better live. Relating better to yourself and others improves life.
In addition to the traditional modalities commonly used in therapy (talk therapy, CBT, DBT, somatic inquiry and mindfulness), I am also trained in the new modality of Brainspotting.
I see individuals and couples.
I am a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) with the CRPO (College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario) and a Master Coach as approved by the ICF (International Coach Federation) .
